This is my Gift for You

The stars are out
And the temperature’s down
My breath fogs my glasses
As you lead me outside
To wish me goodnight

I give you a hug
Kiss you on your cheek
We both say, “I love you,”
But I know we can’t mean it
The way we wish we could

Before I go
There’s so many things
I wish I could say
Some to stall the time
And some I just don’t know
There’s so many things
I feel so unloved sometimes
Not by you
Never
By you
But I’ve a mother
Who endangers others
And a father who
When I said, “College,”
Is what I’d do
Laughed and said it was a waste

Since we graduated
So many dreams broke apart
As we turned our tassels
The world turned on us
Remember how all our mentors
Said it was ours for the taking?
Now it seems to me and to you
That it’s given us
Every reason
Not to pick it up
Where can we go
When it feels like we are
The best we’ll ever have?

I love you so much
There’s just so many things

I already know
We’ll both have to go
So, so very far apart
I know
I know it’s late
And I know it’s cold
But the way your arms feel
Tells me you’re not ready
To let me go
And I know
You wish you could be there
You wish you could help me fight
But there are so many things
That I just can’t let you be

Keep holding me
I say
As though I even need to ask
It’s late now
And I should go
Back home
To those you wish you could be
And if you could be
I’d never feel unsafe
I’d never feel alone
But you and I
Are already so much more
So let me go
Even if it is alone
Into the night without you
I will still find home
I don’t know how I’ll make it
Or even if I will
There’s so little out there
For me to go back to
Please kiss me
And say you love me
As if I didn’t know
So as this night wanes on
And I try to find my home
I’ll at least know
That if I see its end
I can see you
With the dawning sun
And if not
Then I hope you know
That even if I’m not in your arms
You’ve never let me go.