LA to cut Bullshit out of Real Estate
In light of the ailing economy, the city council of Los Angeles has announced a decision to cut the “bullshit” tax out of living in LA.
This understated tax was one of the things driving up real estate and rental prices, and went to help pay for things like prestige, reputation, struggle, and difficulty. While some of those will now have to be cut out of the budget, Ed Reyes of the city council says, “We think the money among residents that will be freed up will be able to re-energize the economy.”
Right now, luxury items, such as bullshit priced perfumes, bullshit parking, and bullshit clothing are being massively undersold, and many economists blame this partly on the substantial cost of living. “Listen, it’s not Los Angeles if you don’t feel prestigious living here,” says exotic purse salesman Michael Deveneaux, “But what’s more important? Spending money on pretentious amounts of rent? Or spending money on pretentious amounts of material goods? Without this bullshit being sold, I’m out of a job, and that’s another person who can’t pay the bullshit rent in LA.”
Removing the bullshit tax on real estate in Los Angeles will hopefully make things much more reasonable. Apartment complexes are estimating that they might have less noise complaints and lower utilities to deal with when they have less than 4 people splitting all their 1-bedroom apartments. Studios may actually only house one occupant once more as well, save for in the originally expensive and prestigious areas such as Santa Monica.
Some people are opposed to it, however. For example, living rooms will no longer be competitive on the market. Stacie Kuger, of Brentwood, says, “Listen, right now I can get $400 a month from some vulnerable, twenty-something, artistic, young man to rent just the living room. Once he can get an efficiency studio with actual privacy for that much, I’ll just have a regular living room.” Another resident of Inglewood feels similarly, as his rent may not go down as much as he can charge for his current extra space. “Right now, I have an office space a little larger than a closet that can go for $475, but that won’t be competitive once there’s no more bullshit to renting in LA, and our rent will only go down about $200.”
A few members of the Hollywood Council for the Higher Arts oppose it as well, saying that removing the bullshit from living in Los Angeles will damage its artistic integrity. “What’s going to happen to all of our starving actors if they’re not starving?” Tom LaBonge bemoans. “You’ll no longer be able to taste the visceral desperation in films.” Porn Producer Klaus Shweissinghoffenmeyer feels similar. “If living becomes much more affordable, I’m going to have difficulties finding desperate young things for my work.”
The city council is trying to decide a date for the bullshit tax to be removed, to give citizens and businesses adequate time to prepare. There’s also question of how long it will be removed. “It has to come back sometime,” Jack Weiss says, “It’s just not LA without all of the bullshit.”
